


i still feel like your man

by ifwehadbeeninlove



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: I'm Sorry, angst lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-25 03:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22229197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifwehadbeeninlove/pseuds/ifwehadbeeninlove
Summary: jeonghan was happy.with someone else.joshua could be, too. he could still get anyone he wanted, but the problem was that he didn’t want to. he didn’t want anyone else. just jeonghan.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 25





	i still feel like your man

**Author's Note:**

> based on john mayer's song "still feel like your man". 
> 
> kinda short and maybe a little clumsy but i haven't really written in years, so forgive me.

_“the prettiest girl in the room she wants me_

_i know because she told me so_

_she says come over_

_i'd like to get to know you_

_but i just don't think i can”_

“hey there.”

the soft, sweet voice makes joshua look up from his phone in his hand. there’s a pretty girl standing in front of him, with a light brown long bob, dark brown eyes and a shy smile on her red lips. she’s so _pretty_ and for a moment joshua is so stunned he almost forgets to respond. he clears his throat and says, “hi.”

the girl’s smile widens and it’s so bright, joshua swears it could blind him if he looked at her for too long. _just like_ his _smile_ , a thought runs through his mind but he immediately shakes it away. _this is not the time._ so joshua puts on a charming grin of his own and asks, “so what’s your name?” the pretty girl takes this as an invitation to sit down on the worn down sofa next to joshua before answering, “seohyeon. what’s your name, handsome?”

_“so what’s your name, handsome?” the beautiful man with the long chestnut brown hair asks, a mischievous smile playing on his_ pretty _lips. joshua, never the type to get shy, feels his face heat up. he can’t believe that out of all the men (muscular, tall, flirtatious) at the party, this beauty chose to come up to_ him. _“uh- i- my name is joshua”, he barely chokes out and the man laughs, and joshua swears it sounds like a choir of angels. “don’t be so nervous, joshua. i’m jeonghan. take me dancing?”_

the memory of when he first met _jeonghan_ flashes through his head and for a moment he forgets how to speak. he takes a moment too long to answer and seohyeon gives him a weird look. joshua quickly composes himself and says, “i’m joshua.” two people, clearly drunk out of their minds, stumble in front of them and the silence that falls between him and seohyeon makes him feel awkward, which is unusual to him. before he met jeonghan, he was known for being bit of a flirt. he could get anyone he wanted, and usually he did. now he looks at seohyeon who is so beautiful, so utterly charming, just so his type, but all he can feel is the reluctance that has replaced his initial interest in her.

seohyeon doesn’t seem to sense his change of heart, and joshua doesn’t know if he should be relieved or disappointed. the girl puts her hand on his bicep, in a way that was all too familiar to joshua, and smiles once again. this time, however, her smile is playing on seductive and he swallows, nervous. then seohyeon speaks up. “wanna dance?”

_jeonghan’s arms are around joshua’s neck, his own hands holding jeonghan’s waist gently, carefully as they’re swaying to the seductive beat of a remix of one of lana del rey’s songs. the beautiful man was looks at him with an almost amused twinkle in his eyes. “you know, you can hold me closer, if you want. it’s fine”, jeonghan says, probably bored of joshua’s shyness. joshua hasn’t had a drop of alcohol, but something about jeonghan is intoxicating, and so, in a moment of bravery, he grips the man’s waist tighter and pulls him against himself. “that’s more like it”, jeonghan whispers. he licks his lips and joshua swears he is going to die._

_jeonghan leans in to whisper in joshua’s ear, “kiss me, joshua.” a shiver runs down joshua’s spine. the way jeonghan looks, dressed up in an oversized graphic tee and black skinny ripped jeans, his long hair down, tiniest hint of lip tint on his lips… it’s enticing, and joshua can’t resist. he crashes his mouth against the other’s, with a little more force than he had intended but jeonghan doesn’t seem to mind, judging by the way kisses back with enthusiasm._

_at the end of the night, joshua takes him home._

what was supposed to be just a one night stand, ended up being something so much more. soon it became rather common for joshua to wake up in the morning pressed up against jeonghan’s back, arm thrown over his slim waist. they’d go on dates, and joshua would kiss jeonghan when he dropped him off at his apartment afterwards. jeonghan would text him good morning, did you eat lunch yet, work is killing me, i saw a cat today, do you want to come over for dinner, good night. joshua would call him just to hear his sweet voice after a long, tiring day.

one time on a date at jeonghan’s apartment, joshua slipped up and called jeonghan _baby_ for the first time. he was embarrassed, but jeonghan, the sweet angel that he was, just smiled and said, “about time.”

being in a relationship with jeonghan was everything joshua had ever dreamed of without even knowing. joshua fell fast, and he fell hard. jeonghan felt like the missing piece in the puzzle that was joshua’s life: jeonghan in his kitchen, in his living room, in his bed, in his apartment. loving someone was new to joshua, but loving _jeonghan_ felt like he had already done so in all his previous lives.

and jeonghan loved him too.

until he didn’t.

everything good has to come to an end someday. joshua had always been well aware of that. however, the possibility of jeonghan one day leaving him had never crossed his mind. he had been so happy, and he had thought jeonghan had been happy, too. all the smiles, the i love you’s, joshua had thought they had always been sincere. he had thought jeonghan’s heart had been in it just as much as his own. why did jeonghan’s “i love you” turn into “i’m sorry, but we need to break up” so suddenly?

the answer came to joshua when he was scrolling down his Instagram feed two months later. he was still following jeonghan, just so he could see his pretty face even if it was just on a selfie on the internet. right there on his screen, there was a picture of jeonghan with another man. the man had his arm around his waist, _the way joshua’s used to._

choi seungcheol. that was the man’s name.

jeonghan looked so happy with him. his smile was wide and genuine and joshua couldn’t help but wonder if he had ever smiled like that with him.

jeonghan was happy.

with someone else.

joshua could be, too. he could still get anyone he wanted, but the problem was that he didn’t want to. he didn’t want anyone else. just jeonghan.

so he tells seohyeon, “i’m sorry, i can’t.” he leaves before he can catch the disappointed look on the girl’s face.

just like every other night, joshua goes home alone. he sits himself in front of the tv, turns on the movie jeonghan used to love. and he feels empty, _so empty_ , but he can’t let go.

and he dreams of jeonghan, just like every night.

_“'cause i still feel like your man_

_still feel like your man_

_i still feel like your man_

_still feel like your man”_


End file.
